A word of encouragement or a word of anxiety.
A word of hope and faith, or a word of doubt.
We build and destroy with our words.
We teach and also take with our words.
Do you share the strength that is in you with patience and kindness? That's a tough one, I know it's a daily challenge. Today was one of those days.
Only moments ago, I watched my son snap at my daughter.
It was a simple thing.
She said something kind of loud and he snapped off a few choice rude words.
What followed stayed with me in a painful way; she wallowed, slumped, spoke slowly, answered quietly and basically demonstrated the behavior of a defeated person.
A part of me wanted to just smack him and scold, "Don't talk to your sister like that!" But the other part of me won today and when she was out of range a bit, I asked my son a simple question so she could not hear me, "Maurice, are you a builder or destroyer?"
He glanced up at me with a look of obvious confusion.
Then I pointed and he followed my finger as it led to his little sister.
I kept it simple, trying to help him understand what his words can do, and more importantly, what his words do to her!
As I pointed at my baby girl, I explained in an intentionally calm, almost soothing voice, "You can destroy or build. You can lift her up or push her down. It's up to you, and it starts with your words."
He first appeared a little irritated, behaving as if he thought he was in trouble.
Then the miracle happened.
As they walked in the front door together, I heard him tease her with a joke, then softly knudge her in the side with his elbow. Beautiful!
A hug would have been too corny, saying sorry too guilty, but a joke and a knudge was the mature thing to do for this growing 12-year-old. I pray this means that he is becoming a builder. A builder of great things, with many powerful words.
To you and yours in 2009, may you build up many things, most importantly - the ones you love the most!
Denise ..
Our diverse network of authors effectively address a wide range of topics providing answers to questions for aspiring writers interested in getting their work published. It is our hope to encourage and inspire as many new and beginning writers as possible!
Charles Chatmon - Poet and Author of The Depths Of My Soul and The Voices Of South Central. These volumes of poetry provide a glimpse into a man's soul - his thoughts, his loves, his fears - about romance, about love, about the very world itself. Any woman who has ever wondered how men think, how men truly feel, should read Chatmon's books of poetry. Any man who has struggled to express his feelings will find himself mirrored in these poems. (www.charleschatmon.com)
Chandra Adams - Author of Shades of Retribution. How far would you go to find the man of your dreams? Find out how far Meena, Basilah and Kenya decide to go in this suspense thriller. Enter their world where they make -- and ultimately break all of the rules. Shades of Retribution offers suspense, action, comedy and a bit of romance. It will make you laugh, make you cry. You'll want to jump into the pages and get a piece of the action. (http://adrolitepress.com)
Carolyn Miller - Poet and Author of Sight Behind Blindness and Heart of Thorns: A Memoir. Miller is a provocative new voice in poetry. To read her poems is to experience eyes through the life of a tiny ant, carrying food to its nest, or to imagine yourself as a mosquito, intent on biting humans. While she expertly uses the natural world to help the reader see life in a new way, Carolyn Miller will forever change the way you see yourself and your relationship to the world. Carolyn Miller penned 'Heart of Thorns: A Memoir' as a ghostwriter with Abdullah K. Rahmani. (www.carolynmiller.com)
Nina Corbett -Standing in the Shadows of Love
Debut author Corbett takes readers deep inside the lives and loves of an irresistible pair of intelligent, beautiful women in this delightfully plotted novel that offers a thoroughly engaging, refreshingly unvarnished view of what romance looks like on the other side of thirty. (www.ninacorbett.com)
Anna Christian - The author of Mrs. Griffin is Missing is one of a trio of stories involving Bobby and Sonny. In another story, Bobby hears knocking coming from apartment 2C. Everyone knows that his neighbor lives alone and works during the day. Who is knocking and why only when Bobby is alone? Because no one believes him, it’s up to Bobby to uncover the secret in apartment 2C. The last story, “The Intruder,” sends the duo hot on the trail of yet another mystery. Set in Harlem of the 1950’s, it is a time of family, community, and suspense. (www.dadielte.net)
Meet It Greet It and Defeat It: The Biography of Frances E. Williams, Actress/Activist Frances Williams’ spirit so took root in Anna Christian, that she has kept this unsung hero’s memory alive through this offering. This biography shows a woman who went up against the fortresses of racism, bigotry and sexism. Frances Williams was best known for her role as "Miss Marie" on Tim Reid’s show, Frank’s Place. (http://memoir-biography.com/famous-entertainers/158/anna-christian-meet-it-greet-it-and-defeat-it-the-biograph/)
Patriece- When Somebody Loves You Back
Description: dinner and a movie thrust her into womanhood. There was no time for immaturity and nostalgia. She had to grow up, get it together and keep it together. She knew about abandonment from her mother. She knew about strength and coldness from her grandmother. She learned that love is best when somebody loves you back. (http://pressinonpublications.comm/Home_Page.php)
Frederick Williams - The Nomination, Beyond Redemption and Just Loving You Beyond Redemption - The Alamo city, known for its intense heat, now reaches a boiling point from a different kind of heat. After a number of execution style murders, the police fear the word will hit the street that there is a serial killer loose in the city. Each execution becomes more frightening and daring than the last as the body count rises. A frustrated Black Lieutenant from the homicide division of the metropolitan police force is determined to unravel the mystery behind the murders before the entire city explodes. (http://www.fredrickwilliams.com)
Just Loving You - Two years, Big Casey Mitchell has promised to support his son for two years so he can publish his first novel. If Jason can't get the job done within that time frame, he's going to find himself back running the family construction business. Every time he gets down to work, the phone rings and it's either his sister Jacqueline, asking him to track down her philandering husband, or Theresa his other sister complaining about Jacqueline. Once, in the middle of a great scene in the novel, Jason's brother Cedric, whom he hasn't seen in over a year, showed up at the door-with his white male lover! And then one night Jason lets his best friend Elliot persuade him to go to the club for a drink or two, to watch some exotic dancers, and Jason meets Dominique-who proves to be the biggest distractions of all.
Rickey Teems - Cross Realities: The Spiritually Street Novel
Primary Christian rule to remember, just because you get saved…doesn't mean the rest of the world does! Welcome to Watts' notorious Jordan Downs Housing Community and the world of Rueben and Tamar Cross, the couple struggling to maintain their spirituality and family in the City of Lost Angels. Will prayer be enough to protect them from Tamar's gang entrenched younger brother's lifestyle and the hectic streets surrounding them where many don't survive? Or will their own non-angelic pasts combined with a sister's selfishness to betray the family at any cost be their downfall? One thing is certain, without the proper focus it can be hard keeping your eyes on God in the midst of smog, shoot-outs, and scandal, when you're dealing with: Cross Realities. (http://rickeyteems.com)
Kelly Pace- Shades of Gray
Shades of Gray tells a timeless story of two individuals, Shelby Miller and Tony Gray, who find themselves in an unforeseen relationship. Their unexpected attachment forms in spite of apparent obstacles, yet teaches them interesting lessons in the midst of their clandestine existence. Tony interrupts Shelby's devotion to her family and forces her to decide between her career as a painter, her daughter, her inner desire for love, or herself. (www.kellypace.com)
This was the 4th year of the annual SOL Film Festival (www.thesolfilmfestival.com). I love the Hampton area --- it was really nice this year. No rain, no cold ... as a matter of fact, I heard from Rebekah Pierce (Editor of Average Girl Magazine from Richmond, VA) that the rain came down after we left. So I guess I brought the sun back to Cali with me!
Kudos to the Hampton Marina Hotel, recently taken over by Crowne Plaza. Even though they were under construction, it was a great stay! And the views of the marina are fantastic.
The SOL Film Festival has grown to be so much more than a group of indie film lovers and artistic hopefuls getting together to watch films - the opportunity to do more has grown each year. Book-store owners, magazine editors, publishers, entrepreneurs and local small business owners are in the house during the weekend of the SOL Film Festival. Filmmakers found themselves setting dates to be screened at local restaurants, authors were passing review copies of recently completely manuscripts to editors and entrepreneurs were doing worthwhile networking - it was a social extravaganza!
Both Thursday and Friday night we ended up at the Soul Food Cafe in downtown Hampton, and I promise you that the only reason our group of 15 or so "after party folks" returned on Friday night was because Thursday night was awesome. I personally returned for the Apple Martini's, truth be told! 
I could go on and on, but really wanted to list some of the folks that were in the house. Also, I am returning to Richmond, VA to do a Strategic Partnering workshop at Average Girl Magazine's Biz Women's Expo ... check out this SOL Searchers and Supporters:
TYSON HALL - www.tysonhall.com
BLAKE GLENN - www.looneyexecutive.com
LINDA PATE - www.talkshoe.com/tc/12895
REBEKAH PIERCE - www.averagegirlmagazine.com
VINCE PAUL - www.talent-link.com
That's just to name a few .... to be continued when time permits
Be well!
Denise Spiller
Freestyle (fr--'st--l') Defined
There are millions of published books throughout the world, yet year after year, thousands of authors continue to write and publish more. Why? Because each individual has something to say. And even if it seems that it has already been said, they haven't said it their way! Not one person on the planet is exactly the same, neither in thought nor in words, so every individual author has the opportunity to "freestyle".
To "freestyle" means to do things your own way. To bring what you have to the table, adding your particular flavor to the mix. Dictionaries list several definitions for the term "freestyle", referencing sports, music, entertainment and dancing, yet there are common elements among all of the descriptions:
a. A style in which any style is permissible.
b. An event, or leg of an event in which it is the choice of the competitor.
c. A competition, in which any maneuver or movement is allowed and competitors are judged on their artistic expression, skill, and expertise.
d. A race in which each contestant has a free choice of the style to use.
According to the above definitions, choice is an important component of freestyle, and that choice is yours. When you become a freelance writer for a living, you can piece together your monthly salary any way that you choose. Believe me, you will get all kinds of experienced writers telling you how the game is played, and hear a lot of "I never did it that way before". Well, that is their choice. Your choice is to bring it-- freestyle. We are each unique, and have our own style. Bringing your style to the publishing game, your way, every single time is all you've got, so hold on to it, bring it and own it each and every time. I don't want to teach you how to imitate; I want you to develop your style--your own "flow" as we call it in rap music. You bringing all you've got to the page and getting paid for it--that's what the Freestyle series is all about.
From my "Freestyle: The Write Time is Write Now!" Book
Denise Spiller
I joined the W.O.M.E.N.EO, Inc. organization about two months ago. The vision is ambitious, the desire sincere, but most of all - the women are real! We will be rolling out the first W.O.M.E.N.EO, Org. newsletter in November, and I will blog more, in the near future, about this organization and the impressive women who represent it -- but for now, I simply want to introduce W.O.M.E.N.EO, Org.
From the www.womeneo.org site, here it is:
This is our story...
Welcome to W.O.M.E.N. E.O., Inc. We hope that you will accept an invitation to be the difference. This is a women's organization created for and dedicated to embracing, enlightening, empowering, educating and engaging others. Our chapters are set up in your communities to advance W.O.M.E.N. E.O., Inc.'s primary mission to be the difference as a community.
We are a 501(c)(3) nonprofit corporation committed to uniting to assist others by donating food, time, clothing and funds.
President Demetra Reid states that, "W.O.M.E.N. E.O., Inc. is a not for profit organization whose mission is to do exactly what our name stands for - We Own, Mentor, Empower, and Nurture Each Other."
Join W.O.M.E.N.EO, Inc. over at myspace by visiting www.myspace.com/womeneo
Does it ever cross your mind the things you might actually get done if you pay closer attention to time? As I sat with my children this past week, it occurred to me just how many things I might get done if I had more respect for time itself. I questioned how much writing I could have accomplished during an episode of America's Best Dance Crew on Thursday night.
Then I decided to cut myself some slack. First of all,
So, though I originally sat to write about all those things I could be doing to accomplish one of my professional goals, or the ideas that I have yet to even begin working on … I have trailed off to something much more important. And if you are anything like me, you sometimes need to be reminded of what's important, I mean really important.
Soon, my son won't be sitting around on Thursday nights watching T.V. with his mommy and little sister. He will become a teenager, and perhaps a girlfriend, sport or buddy will become his center of attention.
They grow up fast; they mature even faster these days. Cherish your family time. If you don't have any time set aside for family time, make some. We played scrabble Saturday, enjoyed home-made waffles on Sunday and baked together Sunday afternoon.
God bless you all and your families, I hope to hear some stories about your summer fun or maybe you have some ideas to share for more quality family time. Either way, enjoy your summer.
Pay closer attention to time, it can't be recycled … and neither can childhood!
I wanted to re-post this positive blog from one of my new friends "Concious Compositions", as it speaks to my personal philosophy about positive thinking and productivity.
Enjoy!
Denise Spiller
What do you think?
The process is that thoughts become actions and actions produce results. So the equation starts with the thoughts. So the key to success is to start with and control the thoughts that we have. Good thoughts become good actions become good results.
But there is this predicament we have as humans. It is this "battle" we have with our thoughts. Thoughts of depression, negative thoughts, thoughts of fear etc constantly creep into our minds and cause us to act in certain ways that are going to produce the antithesis of the kind we want that will produce success.
So what can we do to win the battle with thoughts? Here are a few main points. Apply these immediately and then constantly and you will be on your way to winning the thought battle.
Guard your mind. Pretend that behind that forehead of yours is a very precious thing – your mind – because it is precious. If you had a storehouse of gold in your house, you would hire an armed guard to stand watch and keep all the bad guys out. Yet, many of us let any old thing come into our minds.
We need to keep the bad thoughts, the negative thoughts O-U-T! Now when I say this, I mean both the ones that start in our heads and the ones that come from external sources.
Proactively place good thoughts in your head. Just like a garden, where you weed, or pull the bad stuff out, and plant, put the good stuff in, so we do the same thing with our thoughts. Buy tapes and music that will produce good, happy thoughts in your head! Watch TV programs and videos that put good thoughts in your head!
Avoid the naysayers. They are all around you. You work with them, you live near them – some are even in your family! Whatever you do, do not let them affect you with their negative thoughts. Spend as little time as you can with them (unless it is your spouse or kids – then you need counseling!)
Act on the positive thoughts that you do have. When a positive thought comes into your head, act on it! This will begin to produce a "bridge" between what you think and how you act! This will then make that transition even easier as time goes by!
Four key ideas to win the thought battle:
Guard your mind.
Proactively place good thoughts in your head.
Avoid the naysayers.
Act on the positive thoughts that you do have
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